A Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale
(borrowed from one of my all-time favourite books:
The Art of Coarse Sailing by Michael Green)
.....
Beaufort 
No.
Seaman's
description
of wind
Wind
speed
(knots)
For Coarse use, based on observations made at Potter Heigham and Bosham
For use on land, based on observations made at land stations
0
Calm
< 1
Boat moves sideways with tide
Cigarette smoke gets in eyes
1
Light air
1-3
Coarse yachtsmen hoist sail, then wind instantly drops
Wet finger feels cold
2
Light breeze
4-6
Tea-towels blow off rigging
Public houses close one window
3
Gentle breeze
7-10
Coarse boats careen. Difficult to make tea underway
Public houses close two windows
4
Moderate
breeze
11-16
Gas keeps going out
Beer froth blows off
5
Fresh
breeze
17-21
Coarse sailors get book on sailing from cabin and turn up a bit on reefing
Customers in public-house gardens go inside bar
6
Strong
breeze
22-27
Coarse sailors try to double reef
and go aground
Elderly customers have difficulty in leaving public house
7
Moderate
gale
(high wind)
28-33
Coarse sailors rescued by launch
Public-house door cannot be opened against the wind
8
Fresh
gale
34-40
Aaaaaaaaaah...
Public-house sign blows down
9
Strong
gale
41-47
Coarse sailors in public house
Coarse sailors struck by falling sign
10
Whole
gale
(heavy
gale)
48-55
N.B. - Although the Beaufort Scale goes up to Force 12 it is felt unlikely that anything over Force 9 would interest Coarse sailors except on a television programme.
11
Storm
56-65
12
Hurricane
> 65